On My Own by Melody Carlson

Author:Melody Carlson [Carlson, Melody]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-56485-6
Publisher: The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group
Published: 2002-08-31T04:00:00+00:00

Sunday, November 24

The ride home with Bryce went amazingly well. I waited until we were about halfway to school, and then decided to be completely up front with him.

“I want to tell you something, Bryce,” I began, struggling to come up with the right words.

He glanced at me. “Sure, what?”

I could tell by his expression that he was afraid I was going to tell him he had bad breath or something. “Well, it might sound kind of silly, and you may not even care anyway, but it's something I just need to say and get out into the open. Okay?”

He nodded with a puzzled look. “Okay.”

“In my junior year in high school, not too long after I accepted the Lord, I made a commitment to God. And some people think it's kind of silly–that's probably why I try not to talk about it too much–but the thing is, I decided to quit dating.” Now I couldn't quite read his expression. Maybe it was relief mixed with humor. I'm not totally sure.

“You mean like that book, I kissed Dating Goodbye?”

“Yeah, sort of. Only it was my own commitment. I made it without reading any book or anything. Just between me and God, y'know?”

He nodded. “Interesting. So does that mean you'll never go out with a guy again–ever?”

I laughed. “I'm not totally sure about the timing. I expect things will change when I'm at an age or a place in life to seriously consider marriage. But until then, I want to avoid getting involved like that.”

Then he asked me a lot of questions, and we talked really openly about the whole thing. I told him that I still valued his friendship and hoped this wouldn't change anything.

“It's like my friendships with guys become even more important than when dating was a factor. Maybe it's because there's no pressure there. You just get to enjoy each other's company without always worrying about what comes next.”

“Yeah, that sounds cool to me too.”

We talked some more, and by the time we reached the city limits, he was saying how that would've been the best thing for him to have done in his relationship with Amy.

“Do you think you'll still be friends with her?” I asked as we pulled onto campus.

“She's already got a new boyfriend.” His face looked a little sad.

“Does that hurt?”

He sighed. “Yeah, it does. But I still think that breaking up was for the best.”

Then we were in front of my dorm. “I'm glad I could tell you about this.” I felt slightly embarrassed. “I mean, it's not like I thought you were dying to ask me out or anything, but it's easier if I just lay my cards on the table.”

“Hey, don't kid yourself. I did plan on asking you out. In fact, I would've asked you out today if you hadn't told me about your–your nondating thing.”

“So do you think it's silly?”

“Not at all. I think I'll give the whole thing some serious thought myself. I've never been that comfortable with the whole dating thing in the first place.

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